Professional, Polite, Prepared to Kill

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,

Thanks to The Captains America for sharing this with us:

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile; slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.

After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don’t like redistributive
taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to all the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and think guns cause crime, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, your hated greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street and ANWAR. You can have your beloved homeless, hippies, and illegal aliens. We’ll keep Alaskan Hockey Moms, CEO’s, and Rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and you can have ABC,CBS,CNN,NBC, Entertainment Tonight and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France, and we’ll retain the right to invade places that threaten or harm us or our allies. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we’ll provide them job security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can keep the U.N., however we will no longer be paying the bill. We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks, and luxury cars. You can have every Subaru Station Wagon you can find.

You can banter heath care is a right and give it to everyone, if you can find any practicing Doctors like Howard Dean if they’ll donate their time and do it for free.

We’ll continue to believe healthcare insurance is an individual responsibility and more important than spending all of ones money on lifestyle.

We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.  I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach The World To Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics, and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other likeminded patriots, and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR, YOU’LL NEED IT, on who will be crying for whose help in less than four years.

God Bless America!


John J. Wall
Law Student and an informed American
Regular listener of The Captain’s AMERICA Radio Show


January 18, 2009 - Posted by | 2nd Amendment, Border Security, Homeland Security, Politics, the captains america, trucking | , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Well said. Thank you.

    THey can have the GITMO boys for thier limo drivers and private airplane pilots too. I’m told they have training in these areas.

    Comment by Rick | January 27, 2009 | Reply

  2. Thanks everybody for making this article I shared with you such a hit!

    Comment by The Captain | January 27, 2009 | Reply

  3. Wow, you lose one election and you go into hysterics. Christ, how much of a spoiled child are you?

    Comment by Dervin | January 27, 2009 | Reply

  4. Bravo! If only we could make it happen.

    Comment by Zee | January 27, 2009 | Reply

  5. When do we start the Divorce Proceedings.

    This is a Great Idea. It’ll will get rid of a lot of Trash and Headaches.

    Comment by Tom | January 27, 2009 | Reply

  6. wow. a texan with right wing views?!?!?!

    no you know how i felt when that MORON got elected in 2004.

    welcome to america, where sometimes your guy loses.

    Comment by chris | January 29, 2009 | Reply

  7. aren’t truckers unionized?

    doesn’t that kind of negate your view point?

    Comment by chris | January 29, 2009 | Reply

  8. Well, Dervin…how much of a spoiled child were the Lefties when Bush took office?

    Comment by Eve | January 29, 2009 | Reply

  9. Chris — Teamsters are the union of truckers, however, a majority of us are NOT union, don’t want to be a part of a union and don’t work for union companies…

    Comment by rtaylor83305 | January 29, 2009 | Reply

  10. […] found this on American Truckers at War who obtained it from The Captain’s America. It’s a damn shame we can’t do as this […]

    Pingback by Road Sassy » Blog Archive » There Are Two Americas, If Only We Could Divide Them | January 31, 2009 | Reply

  11. What a bunch of crap. As if those stereotypes you mention represent the majority of people who support the Democratic Party. You’ve described the most far left in this country, which is about as representative of liberalism as the wackjobs on the right calling for civil war are representative of conservatism.

    First of all, the Union is never going to divide. But if the country were divided, it would be divided on red state & blue state lines, and you guys would have one great country.

    With the blue states come:

    1. 1-15 of the top public school systems by state, and 21 of the top 25. (Hmm, maybe liberals aren’t so bad at education after all…)

    2. The majority of the best private schools.

    3. The majority of the US Military installations, the best of those installations, and nearly the entire Navy.

    4. The majority of US allies. (Remember, the world hates you guys)

    5. The majority of the major markets, including the top 3, 4 of the top 5, and 11 of the top 15.

    6. The wealthiest corporations

    7. ALL of the financial markets (Conservatism is far from a monopoly among banking & finance, though probably a majority would lean to the right. Even still, I’d wager that more people in finance would opt to stay and work where the money is in New York & Chicago than move to any conservative state.)

    8. The wealthiest and most successful sports teams.

    9. The most profitable shopping districts.

    10. The biggest sources of tourism.

    11. The major centers of technology research and manufacturing.

    12. The major centers of medical research, most of the top hospitals, and most of the top minds in medicine. (the majority of doctors and medical personnel are liberals.)

    13. The majority of the best universities

    14. The majority of the great academic, engineering and scientific minds. (research & academia is a liberal stronghold)

    15. The majority of the coasts

    16. The majority of the major sea ports

    17. The majority of shipping and transport

    18. The majority of the largest airports

    19. The majority of cultural centers – art, music, museums, theater, film, etc…

    20. The majority of historical landmarks

    21. And we’d even make out great in agriculture

    I’m pretty sure we’d do just fine without:

    Alaska, Utah, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, West VA, Mississippi, Georgia, Wyoming and South Carolina.

    While we’d keep:

    Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, New York, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Mass, Rhode Island, Conn, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, DC, and Virginia.

    Maintaining continuity would require us giving up FL, NC, NM, and CO in trade for I guess ND, MT, ID and AZ. Pretty bunk trade, actually. I’m thinking you’d have to give up NC as well, either that or divide some of the border states further on county lines.

    But, yeah, I could deal with a country made up something like that. I don’t have any interest in ever visiting most of those states again. The only ones I’d miss would be FL, CO, & NC.

    And hey, you guys can go invade Mexico. I hear they’re working on Weapons of Mass Immigration.

    Comment by vb1175 | January 31, 2009 | Reply

  12. John is a textbook example of what is wrong with this country. Spouting ignorance via the internet is exactly the type of behavior expected of a person who would be a prime candidate for the Jerry Springer Show.

    So, John, you’re a Law Student and informed? I’m not so sure.

    As a veteran, I’m ashamed to call you a brother because it’s tough for me to believe that someone dong something so respectable with their life could be so ignorant. My guess is that you’ll be a failure.

    On the other hand John, you are entertaining in a way. I’m hoping that you and Stephen Colbert can get together along with that “Joe The Plumber” guy and give America a good laugh. Wait. Joe wasn’t really a plumber was he?

    Oops, I meant, “the whole world” a good laugh. Remember, half of the planet (or more) doesn’t think too highly of Americans in general because of “true thinking geniuses” like you and our former president. However, they do love to laugh along with all the rest
    of us.

    You are a true patriot John.

    I hope you’re in the military or VA health care system, because if anything truly catastrophic ever happened to you or anyone in your family without it, it’s unlikely that even the best private insurance coverage would allow you to keep your home or life as you know it when they get through with you. (Unless you’re family is rich, then that would explain your ignorance on top of arrogance.) That’s if you (or they) even live through it. You call that a luxury? Hmmm.

    Maybe you should contact your buddy Michael Moore and talk to him about it sometime. While you’re at it, check out his documentary “Sicko”. It’s on Cable TV this month. It won’t be aired on PBS for quite sometime, but then I’m sure you don’t watch PBS since it’s sort of a “social” service.

    And one more thing, since you want to throw the “social progressives” label around and spread more good sense like what a bad idea free health care would be, maybe you think it would be a good idea to privatize the police, fire and roads departments too. While you’re at it, how about everyone paying for the education of their own children too. God knows, (I mean the one true Judeo-Christian one) that when it comes down to it, public education, infrastructure services, police, fire and other “social services” are really socialism in thin disguise. My God! A privatized U.S. Army John! Well, then you couldn’t really call it the U.S. Army then, could you? No, that would be a socialist wish of course.

    But wait. I’m not so sure the privatized system would work for you. How would you be able to pay for your SUV, gas guzzling pickup or over-sized luxury car when you’re busy working you’re ass off to pay for your military, police and fire protection, luxury health care, kids education etc…. when all your greedy CEO’s are running them at prices that you can barely afford just because they can? You know, kind of like the hospitals do now. I’m wondering if your fondness of those greedy CEO’s is really shared by a large percent of your like-minded patriots. I’m not so convinced.

    I don’t know John. Maybe you need to sit at home with your redneck buddies, fellow law students and brainstorm this for awhile. Just turn Jerry Springer down a little so it won’t distract you so much, I’m sure you’ll come up with a good answer.

    Anyhow John, I really do wish you the best. Keep on thinking free.

    Comment by Mike Armijo | February 12, 2009 | Reply

  13. P.S. I think I’d keep my guns, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and my bible. Oh, and my motorcycle. I agree with you on Barbara Streisand, even if she can sing like a diva.

    I’m still trying to figure out what anyone has against Shirley MacLaine (John spelled her name wrong). Sure she’s some crazy witch of an old lady, but she was really hot way back in the day. Maybe I’m just partial to redheads, I don’t know. But she’s old now and I’m thinking even a tyrant, terrorist, atheist, agnostic or gun toting redneck might cut her some slack just because she’s on her way out in a few more months. That’s just me though.

    They can keep the bubblehead hockey mom politician from Alaska. Whoever thinks she’s hot needs some special glasses. Maybe then, they’ll be able to see Russia from their back door too.

    Your friend and patriot.

    Comment by Mike Armijo | February 12, 2009 | Reply

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